Paul Hyde road tests ... the Donuts

"We make them because we can" was Planet X’s response to the question ‘why make a 101?’ Only just managing to scrape inside the CTT’s limits for front wheel use in domestic time trials, the 101 proved to be an unqualified success. Encouraged to produce something even more outrageous as a result of the incredible publicity emanating from Brad Wiggins’ use of something only marginally deeper, Planet X has decided to push the boundaries still further and go for something completely bonkers / useless / unrideable (delete where applicable) in the form of its new Doughnut Disc. Paul Hyde, Planet X’s 23minman from Kent has had some of the prototypes for testing ...

Testing Times’ very own 23minman Paul Hyde’s dreams recently came true when a nice big box arrived on his doorstep. Having heard that Hyde had inadvertently shut his van’s door on his Corima disc, Testing Times’ Editor at heart, Ian ‘I’m all heart’ Cammish had arranged through his contacts at Planet X to make a pair of their new VERY deep section time trial wheels available for Hyde to road test. At (yet) another of the management’s liquid lunches, during which many suggestions for an appropriate name for the wheels were put forward (as is the case with any of Planet X’s new products ... frames included!), the wheels were christened ... Doughnut Discs. Many toasts to their future were made ... probably a few more than was in the Company’s and customer’s interests are concerned if the amount of subsequent cock-ups in the picking, packing and dispatching department are anything to go by!
And so the wheels eventually arrived in Kent.
"I can’t believe how lucky I am. I used to test products for that very nice man Ron Kitching in the early 90s you know. I was given one of his Lollipops to try [brightly coloured disc wheels called Lollipop discs because they looked like ... well ... lollipops. I never tried to blag one because I didn’t like their name. Honest! - Ed.]. Between you and me ... they sucked!
"Then there was the time I helped out Ian Cammish in another of those 12 hour races he starts but never finishes. While I was waiting for him to pack, I was working my way through his race food and came upon one of those PowerBar jelly thingies. It was lovely ... so much better than the SIS ones. Anyway, Cammish put me on to Kevin Milnes at PowerBar and I was asked to test some of their products in return for feedback. To this day, me and the Mrs still breakfast on Frosties covered with PowerBar vanilla jelly thingies ... the product certainly speaks for itself if my performances in the world of domestic time trialling are anything to go by. Lovely!"
A few weeks after receiving the wheels, Hyde, renowned for his good taste, was asked to comment on the Doughnuts.
"A bit crunchy to start with and could maybe have done with a bit of jam in the middle. A lot better than the Lollipops though ... but maybe not quite as nice as the PowerBar jelly thingies."
Next product heading for Hyde’s sweet-tooth will be Planet X’s Frog’s Bollx (getting a bit like ‘I’m a Celebrity’s Bush-Tucker trials this eh? ... they’re Canti-lever brake stirrups BTW! ;-) )

1 January 2009